once upon a time, you were mine
by spontaneously.tired
Summary: He can't help but wonder if he ever had a chance. Lucas' point of view. Rilaya with references to Rucas.


He glances over at the two girls sitting at their signature spot at Topanga's Bakery. The brunette's attention is on her notes for an upcoming science test. While the blonde sits quietly next to her, attempting to capture the brunette's beauty in a simple sketch. She grows frustrated at her inability to do so and groans. The sudden noise causes the brunette to jump ever so slightly. She looks at the shorter girl and, as if she can read her mind, understands exactly what is going on. The brunette lifts the blonde's head with a smile on her face and steals a kiss.

 _That should be me._

He thought he would be use to it by now, after all it had been two years, almost three, since they become a couple, but he wasn't.

Maya avoided him throughout the summer before their first year of high school. Not Riley. Not Farkle. Not Zay. Not Smackle. Just _him_. He finally confronted her about her cold shoulder at the end of July. "Why won't you just talk to me?!"

"I just can't stand being near your cowboy personality," her voice was laced with malice. He could tell that she's angry with him, but still had no idea what he did to deserve such anger.

"Maya...we _are_ friends, whether you like to believe or not. Now, I don't know what I did to make you so angry at me, but I am truly sorry."

Maya was fuming, the tears she was holding back were threatening to spill, "Why do you have to be so perfect?! Huh? Why do you have to be such a _huckleberry?_ All chivalrous and brave. It makes me sick!"

Lucas was confused, "You're mad at me because I'm nice?"

Maya closed her eyes. Tears traveled down her cheeks, "No you idiot! I'm mad at you because she _likes_ you, and she's _leaving_ me," her voice cracked as she said the last word.

He was still confused. Sure Riley and him had an unofficial thing going on, but she would never _leave_ Maya, "I'm not going to take her away from you, she's your _best_ friend."

Maya laughed bitterly, "You really don't get it do you Ranger Rick?" she paused and looked him straight in his eyes, "I _like_ her." Maya ran away before he had the chance to respond.

Of course Maya liked Riley, they were practically attached to the hip. Wait. _Oh_. She _liked_ her.

Farkle came to his house the next day. Lucas wasn't in the mood for any company after finding out that his sorta-girlfriend's best friend had a crush on her, but the genius wouldn't leave him alone until they talked.

Lucas hated to admit it, but he was furious at Maya, "I just don't get _why_ Farkle. Why is she so mad at me? I get that she likes Riley, but I'm not doing anything wrong by liking her too."

Farkle sighed at his best friend, "You have to understand this from Maya's perspective, Riley has been there for her since the day they met, she's her rock, her safe place. She was _already_ threatened by you when she thought she had only platonic feelings for Riley, now that she knows that she's in love with her, she's even more terrified of losing her. She doesn't _hate_ you Lucas."

He was quiet, not sure how to respond to his explanation. Farkle continued speaking, "Maya feels like Riley is her only choice, and that she'll never have the chance to be with her with you around. I mean, _look_ at you!"

He still didn't respond. Farkle sighed again, "I'm not going to tell you not to fight for her, I think either of you would make Riley happy, and that's what's important at the end of the day. Plus _Riley's_ the one that's going to have to make the choice between you two," he stopped for a moment, "but you can't be mad at Maya for liking her too."

After Farkle left, Lucas stared at his wall for what felt like an eternity. Riley Matthews was the sole reason why he survived New York. She made him feel like he could do anything. Like he had the chance to start over and be a good person. Was he being selfish by wanting to keep her from finding love with someone else? Was he ever _really_ good enough for her? He was a cowboy with anger issues. He didn't deserve a princess like her. But maybe the artist who would protect and love her until her dying breath _did_.

Lucas slowly broke away from the group, they were still his best friends, but he spent more time playing sports in high school than he did talking to them. His "breakup" with Riley was quiet. One day they're going to the movies and holding hands, the next day they're never in the same room alone. He never gave her an explanation. She never asked.

Farkle told him that he couldn't give up yet, that depriving Riley of a choice was basically making the choice for her, that he still had a shot. Lucas considered fighting for Riley after that pep talk from him, but when he saw Maya's eyes light up every time Riley held her hand, he knew he couldn't take that away from her.

They get together in November of freshman year. After a heart wrenching confession from Maya, and a long talk with her parents about sexual orientation, Riley came out as pansexual with Maya by her side. The rest of his friends were fully supportive of the relationship, even Farkle backed off once they become official.

Lucas put on a facade and congratulated the couple. Riley looked like she was going to explode with joy. He reasoned that her happiness should be enough for him to feel okay. It's not. His heart ached when he saw Maya kiss her. He swore he was dying every time he saw them flirting like _they_ use to. He felt like the worst person ever when he wished for the end of their relationship, but he couldn't help it. He missed her smiles, her laugh, her jasmine scented hair. He missed it all.

He attempted to move on. He went on more dates than he could count, but no girl made him feel as safe and confident as Riley Matthews did, she still does. He wonders if he could have ever had her. What if he spoke up? What if he let her make a choice? Would he be the one kissing her? Making her laugh? _Loving_ her? Did he ever have a chance? Or was he always second place to Maya?

He looks at the couple. Maya kisses Riley's nose and walks away to buy a snack. Riley notices him staring at her; she waves and smiles. It's not the same smile she had for him way back when in the seventh grade. Looking at him no longer makes her eyes sparkle. Those smiles were reserved for _only_ Maya now. He smiles back and returns to his homework. He knew that she still cared about him, still loved him like a friend, but she loves Maya with her whole soul, and he would have to live with that, no matter how much it broke his heart.


End file.
